During my time so far at the Mount, I’ve become involved in various communities. I’m an active member of Lighted Corners Art and Literary Magazine, I’ve found a fun group of friends to hike with, and I have stumbled upon a multitude of people who are just as obsessed with gothic literature as I am, all thanks to progressing further along in the English major. One community that I have yet to be a part of on campus, however, is a faith community.
Admittedly, I’ve been hesitant to get involved in Catholic spaces at the Mount. Although I had grown up in an affirming and loving Catholic environment, I still was worried about whether or not I would be accepted in Catholic spaces on campus. Unfortunately, this is a reality that many religious LGBTQ+ people face. There are certain worries that come with being Queer in faith communities, often stemming from a long history of Queer people being ostracized from them. With tension between the LGBTQ+ community and the Catholic Church on the rise, many LGBTQ+ Catholics feel pushed out of faith communities.
Last year, with some encouragement from my roommate, I briefly joined a Bible study. I was seeking a space where I
could grow in faith and make some more Catholic friends along the way. In that group, initially, I felt a little out of place. I was the only openly Queer person, as far as I knew, in the Bible study. Being unapologetically Queer in religious spaces can come with a level of worry that sadly many LGBTQ+ Christians know all too well. Every single person in that group was kind and loving, and I never once felt ostracized. Still, I felt a level of discomfort that I couldn't quite articulate. After some soul searching, I found that those feelings of discomfort stemmed from a place of fear. I realized that I needed to take some smaller steps to reconnect with Catholic spaces.
This past month I had gone through a few personal hardships. I felt that I needed to spend some time in prayer, so on a whim, I hiked up to the Grotto early before my Friday morning classes. Last time I had visited the Grotto, I was just months away from graduating high school, and figured it was due time that I went again.
It was a rainy, misty morning, and far too early for my liking, but I still felt called to go. So, I trudged my way step by endless step, until I was face to face with the entrance to the Grotto. Along the way, walking through the Grotto, I felt a sense of belonging to my faith in a way that I hadn't in some time. I was completely alone, but I never once felt lonely. By the time I had reached the “quite zone” sign, I felt as though I was perfectly at peace in this space.
Stumbling up to the Grotto that morning helped me realize that sometimes it’s okay to take things one step at a time, even literally. I paused, I reflected, and I continued to walk up to the Grotto at my own pace. What I also wish to do is pause, reflect, and continue to go at my own pace when joining faith communities on campus. I am incredibly hopeful that I will find a faith community here at the Mount where I feel completely at ease. It’s just a matter of taking the first small step forward.
As always, thank you for reading. Be sure to check out the other My View of MSMU bloggers this week!