I believe that it's normal for everyone to experience insecurities to some extent. Almost every day, I find myself dwelling on my appearance, my performance in class presentations, and even on brief, awkward interactions with teachers and students. Despite endlessly searching for solutions online, I've found that none of the strategies seem to work for me.
I recognize that eliminating insecurities may be impossible, as we are all human beings. In fact, it seems that if we're not insecure about something today, we'll likely find something new to be insecure about tomorrow. The problem I face is that these insecurities tend to dominate my day. Some days, I spend too much time obsessing in front of the mirror before class. I'm not saying that it's wrong to want to look good because feeling good about how we look can be empowering. However, there are times when I stand in front of the mirror and nitpick every little thing I dislike, be it morning eye bags or a pimple from the night before. It's just not the best way to start the day at 8:00 am, and it needlessly fuels my paranoia that everyone is watching me when they really aren't.
I think my insecurities and anxieties have intensified because I'm a senior, and I'm entering a transitional period where I need to advocate for myself. I must initiate job searches and recognize that I'm at a stage in my life where I'm truly transitioning into adulthood. This pressure I feel to excel in everything I do can lead me to forget that I'm only human and not flawless.
Many of my classmates and peers, in general, are also feeling the pressure of being a senior. Although we are in our last year, we all have so many worries about how we can get better and how to prepare for life after college. One of the most helpful things that has aided me is my Senior Seminar class. Since the beginning of the semester, that class has informed me about many things regarding the job market, the job process, and how to overcome the fears of being new to the experience overall. I feel more prepared than before, but I am still working through overcoming insecurity.
I've spent a lot of time watching YouTube videos from girls my age who offer advice on overcoming insecurities. They often encourage their viewers to channel their inner goddess or believe that they're flawless. The message is clear: focus on yourself. While this advice is helpful to some extent, I've found that constantly focusing solely on myself and how wonderful I am can ironically lead to more self-imposed pressure about how I present myself to others, exacerbating my insecurities.
What I aspire to achieve is a balance where I don't obsess over how I present myself but rather focus on doing what I need to do with integrity and effort, without striving for perfectionism. I don't want to spend hours or even days fixating on what I did wrong on a given day. Instead, I want to let go of things I can't change and understand that failure and rejection are experiences that all humans encounter and must learn from.