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Goodbye For Now

Emelie Beckman, C'25

Mount track and field athletes talking to each other

My spring resembled much that of a crazy rollercoaster ride. I have shared some but of course not all details in this blog series; so much has happened. I think it can be seen as good and bad, because much bad has happened to me but also a whole lot of good. I have found myself struggling to see the good things though, since I tend to get fixated on the bad. But this is something the 2024 spring semester at the Mount has taught me, and something I will improve on in the future. 

Track and field started amazing during this semester. I have already covered everything in full, but I had and really good indoor season where I set several personal records, a school record, a conference record, and won some big titles. After my epic high calmed down though I went excitedly into the outdoor season with high expectations, only to end up with a mental block, which in the long run took a big toll on my confidence. I still have two competitions left during this season and although I feel better I can tell how this season was and is going to be a struggle which I ultimately had to fight my way through.

Besides track and field, I have had several personal issues which have influenced my academic, and social life. But, after it all, I can clearly say I have and will continue to come out stronger from it all. My well-being has fluctuated, as well as my confidence, but it has led me to the light that is realization. No matter what happens to me I need to trust myself and value myself higher. I can no longer keep judging my self-worth based on performance, which is what ultimately led me to have a mental block. Neither can I base my sense of self-worth on other people. My self-worth is mine and it only concerns me.

I have used much of my posts to illustrate what it is like to be an international student at the Mount. Many of the experiences and thoughts I have written about have from my freshman year when the encounter with America was yet so fresh. However, this spring, even though I feel more at home in this new country, I have had moments where I get reminded of how new everything is. It has been exciting. As I mentioned in an earlier post, everything becomes everyday life after a while, and coming to America, which started as a crazy adventure two years ago, has now become ordinary for me. This makes me appreciate the moments when I realize how valuable what I am doing is. I know it is cliche, but I am definitely not the same person that I was two years ago, and for that, I will forever thank my decision to study in a new country.

I want to thank you for reading this blog, whether it was one post or all of them, thank you. I hope I have given you something. It doesn’t have to be something big, maybe some insight, or just a random word in Swedish. My wish for this blog was to share my experience and give encouragement, that crazy adventures like mine to the US are attainable, and I highly suggest doing something crazy at least once in your life.

Final Swedish Lesson:

Thank you - Tack

Rollercoaster - bergochdalbana

This is my last blog - Det här är min sista blog

Hope you have enjoyed reading - Hoppas du hat tyckt om att läsa

Emelie Beckman, C'25